Woman in Leadership

Will the real leaders stand up?

Ladies and Gents, let’s have a heart-to-heart: At the start of my career, whenever someone said “leader,” I pictured someone mostly male, in a suit—with a booming voice, a strict disposition, bossy attitude, and a name like Thomas or William. Meanwhile, I was busy starting a family, founding an international school, battling teenagers, negotiating with helicopter parents, managing extracurricular activities, facing department deadlines, wrangling real venomous snakes, and occasionally, wrangling my own sense of credibility. “Real” leaders, I thought, were the ones shaking hands at shareholder meetings and sitting in boardrooms—not negotiating bedtimes or championing fundraising for the endless school “wish list”.

But then something clicked, as John Maxwell firmly declares (and yes, John’s voice now lives rent-free in my head), leadership is influence, nothing more and nothing less. Suddenly, that knocked my carefully constructed imposter syndrome on its head—because every time I rolled out a new program, built an additional class, raised the necessary money and paperwork, managed to get my kids to their sporting fixtures, I was… well, leading! And so are thousands of South African women worldwide, whether they believe it yet or not.

South African Expat Women: Invisible Influence

Here’s where things get really interesting. Research among South African expat women—those who find themselves in Shanghai, Stockholm, or (my personal favourite) Rosmalen, The Netherlands—shows that many still struggle with the L-word: Leadership. The “trailing spouse” experience is real: qualified professionals become the “plus one,” sometimes overqualified for the international vacuum left by the relocation shuffle. Only about a third resume their careers straight away. The rest? Running homes, communities, setting up expat groups, problem-solving in five languages, and yes—leading without the title or the pay raise.

Coaching: Unpacking the Invisible Cape

Here’s what most leadership researchers—and any seasoned coach or recovering principal/ teacher like me—will tell you: leadership is everywhere, and expat women bring bucketloads of untapped, unclaimed influence wherever they go. The problem isn’t the absence of leadership—it’s recognizing and owning it, out loud.

That’s where coaching swoops in, superhero cape and all. Coaches are helping expat women see that their leadership has always been there: in their adaptability, their organizing, their cross-cultural ‘maak ’n plan’ mentality.  Through storytelling, group coaching, visibility campaigns, and personalized plans, they build the confidence to stop asking, “Am I really a leader?” and start declaring, “Watch out, world. I’m here, and I come with snacks.”

Lessons From a School Leader (And Serial Expat)

From experience, I know this: the world teems with women quietly running entire ecosystems, never mind companies. My own journey—from educational leadership, then re-starting in a new country and field—was littered with moments where I questioned my right to lead. But each time I left the house with its death trap stairs, drove on the “right” side of the road, met a new friend, baby sat a child or a pet, and tutored IB/Cambridge students online, I know, it takes leadership.

A Fresh Mindset: Lead Where You Are (Now, Not Later)

So—here’s the new script: Move over, stereotypical “leader” in a suit! The real leaders are the ones making a plan, building a new community, translating Dutch ingredients so you can make rusks, and chairing emergency family meetings over Zoom.

Let’s influence, lead, and—most importantly—laugh along the way. Because, as any South African knows, you can’t braai with a poker face for long.

If you’re a South African expat woman quietly steering the ship, it’s time to own your power. And if you need a cheerleader, a coach, or just someone to swap “ag shame” stories with—you know where to find me

Jenny C Page +31617312727 or jennycelestepage@gmail.com